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[Harry Potter] - If Remus Were a Girl

Title: If Remus Were A Girl

Remus would have breasts.

Sirius balanced a panicle - the one Remus uses when filling in his muggle crosswords puzzles and can get really sharp and pokes perfectly - between his upper lip and his nose. The ceiling of the detention room is grey and crackled and Sirius is bored and has nothing to do other then think of Remus with breasts.

They would be small, he decides. They would fit snugly in his hands and be perfectly round and soft. His shoulders would be rounder, thin and delicate - even more then they are now. His skin would be creamy and smooth.

Sirius can perfectly picture Remus as a girl - with a Gryffindor skirt on, his legs pale and smooth and perfect. Remus would be the kind of girl to forgo tights and wear leg warmers - ones in different colors and falling apart. Remus the Girl would were flat shoes - nothing with a heal at all - because lord knows that Girl Remus would trip all over the place and fall in his-her pretty face.

Girl Remus, Sirius thinks, would have short hair - like Remus Remus does now. Possibly the exact same haircut. Girl Remus' face would be rounder - kinder, if possible - her cheeks smooth and full. Her smile would leave wide indents on her face, her happiness pure and out there. She would smile often, Sirius thinks, with him. Sirius hopes.

Sirius crossed his legs and leaded back further on his chair, tracing the outline of a dragon on the ceiling. Girl Remus, he thinks, would have small hands. Little fingers with short nails and tiny white knuckles. Her wrists and elbows would be just as boney and Real Remus, her arms long and nice. Her shoulders would slope down just slightly, her chest would be small and thin.

Girl Remus, Sirius thinks with some indecent movement on his head - as if Remus was listening to his description, would not be so damn tall. In fact, Girl Remus would be a hair shorter then Sirius himself, and would have to push onto her tip toes to kiss him.

And she would kiss him, Sirius thinks. But, his mind counters, you would have had to work a hell of a lot harder for her.

Agreed, Sirius thinks. He thinks that the Girl Remus would have stayed away from him - hell, Real Remus would have stayed away from him if they hadn't been roomed together. Girl Remus might have even hated him - that thought made Sirius pale - and she may have even been one of bloody Lily Evens' friends.

Shaking the thought, Sirius grins and thinks I would have wooed her. Classically. Because Girl Remus would have been the only girl in the dorm - other then blood, red haired Lily - who didn't fall heals over head for him. Well, at least Girl Remus would have tried to hide it.

Sirius could see it.

Sirius would have made his move in 5th year.

They would have had class together - Defense against the Dark Arts, Sirius mind supplies on a whim, much like his through trail - and Sirius would have casually asked if she wanted to walk back together. James and Peter would laughs at him - because, come on, who really hung out with Girl Remus? She was a book nerd and was absent a little to much but so, so lonely. Sirius would know that she was lonely. He would know.

Girl Remus would look at him like he was crazy and say something along the lines like 'Stuff it', only a lot more politely and with a few more words. Her voice would be deeper, more feminine, less heavy and more like a woman then a girl. She would be thought - callused and lonely and hurt - by the world at large and by herself.

Sirius would respond with something like 'please' only a lot more dirty and with many, many more words that would either get Girl Remus to turn and walk from him or to have her stunned into walking with him.

Sirius righted himself in his chair and crosses his arms, confusion wrinkling his forehead. How would his personality change?, Sirius wonders. Would he still be like his is now, or would he be complexly different?

Girl Remus, Sirius decides with a smile, would turn and walk away. Thus the courting would continue. Sirius would bug her daily - getting under her skin, making her laugh for real. After a while, she would start smiling when he came into the room - her eyes would like up like honey in the sunlight, and Sirius' heart would shock and he would realize I'm in love with her.

There was a pull of something on Sirius lips. Something fluttered in his chest.

She would be dazzling. When they would really start to have conversations, Sirius would find her to be quite witty - she would be sharp with her tongue and smart as a whip. She would catch on to everything, her jokes would be crude but subtle - Sirius would have to listen to her tone and hear her words to understand. He would have to devote himself to her speech.

The she would disappear for four days and come back with burses.

She wouldn't tell him where they were from. She would say that she went home to visit her parents - they're Muggles and they worry ever so much - and she fell on the station stairs and hurt herself. Sirius would stare at her shoulders - her nape - all during class, watching for any sing of pain or discomfort. She wouldn't' show it - she would be used to the pain and wouldn't think about it. Her laugh wouldn't be as free, and her smile would be fleeting.

And Sirius would try harder to get her to smile - to laugh. He would try with everything he had to get her dark eyes to light up again, to warm to him once more. After a week - maybe a week and half, she would be back to her normal self, and she would grab his hand in the hallway.

A blush climbed up Sirius face at the thought of it.

She wouldn't mean to do it. She would reach to tug at his shirt sleeve and would grab his hand by accident. They're eyes would meat and before the surprise overtook her eyes Sirius would see joy in them. Real joy, from the soul, simply because she was with him.

She would let him go like he had burned her, and she would make and excuse about forgetting something in the class room and would run the hell away.

It would take till she came back from her parents house again - with a huge burse on her shoulder and a cut on her hand - until she would talk to him again.

They would be talking in the common room - it would be dark, and the fire place would play odd shaped shadows across her face. Her nose would be thin and round, every so slightly out of place on her face, and Sirius would make fun of her with a light in his eyes and a tone in his voice that would make sure she knew he was joking. She would hit him - or kick him with her socked feet and green colored leg warmers - and her would reach over and grab her hand and ask how it happened.

She would make something up - he would be able to tell this time. He would know because he would know her - how she worked when she's lying, that her nose twitched and her eyes never stayed still. Her skin would be warm under his hand, smooth and bandaged and he would ask, softly, 'What happened?'

She would pull her sweater up over her shoulder - covering the burse - but her hand would stay in his, cold and small. Her hands would be small, tiny things - her nails broken - and she would say ' Nothing. It's my brother - he's younger, and I was playing with him and I hurt myself-'

And Sirius would kiss her.

Her lips would be full and pure, as soft as rose petals under his. Only every once in a while were her lips be like that - all the other times they would be chapped and broken from her chewing on them in class. That would be another one of her bad habits - she chewed on everything.

She would squeak, Sirius knew. She would squeak in surprise and sunk in air and he would pull away. He would let her make the next move. He would let her decide - because that's what gentlemen did for ladies - they let them decide. Sirius would want to be a gentlemen for her. He would become one for her.

She would stare at him - for what would feel like forever - and slowly she would reach out her tiny hand and would cup his cheek. Her hands would fit, from the coroner of his mouth to the back of his ears, and she would examine him with her eyes. She would search his soul in only a way that she could - that he would let her - only her.

She would kiss him, lightly on the forehead, her lips warm and soothing, and would disappear up the stairs.

Sirius' heart hurt.

He wouldn't give up.

He would figure it out, eventually. James would, actually. James would notice and recorded it and drag Sirius aside and tell him, slowly, that he was courting a werewolf. Sirius' eyes would wonder out the window - stare at the sky full of the moon and stars. It was half full, and Girl Remus' entire left arm was bruised.

'I know.' Sirius would say. James would be startled. Sirius would feel the cold wind on his face, even with the windows close. A wind that moved his hair and heart, that let him know that he hand know as soon as he looked in her golden eyes. 'I've known.'

And James would smile and say ' Well, go get her then'.

Sirius would embrace her in the court yard.

The sound of whispers brought Sirius attention back to the present - to the door way of the detention room. There was no one standing there - bur Sirius could smell him. Could smell the dust, and chocolate, and her smiled a moment before something touched the back of his head.

A hand, sure and warm, settled on the base of his neck - cold and real. Sirius let his eyes slip closed and concludes that Girl Remus' hands would have been cold.

They would embrace in the court yard. Sirius would come up from behind and burry his nose in her nape and smell the warm sent that would be her. And she would freeze, then relax into him, and he would tell he her loved her.

Sirius felt hands around his shoulders - strong, tone arms, and a head against his. Sirius felt loved.

He would tell her he knew, and that he loved her. From the bottom of his hear, he wanted her - her troubles, her pains, her happiness, her devotion.

"Sirius," A whisper of the wind. A hand - invisible - was slowly dropping to his chest. Sirius could see her face, her smile - surprised, accepting, needy. "What in gods name are you thinking about?"

Sirius couldn't help it. He busted out laughing, surprising the Professor, hands falling away in surprise.

"What were you thinking about?" Remus asks, chest pale. Sirius makes shapes with his nails in red against the white skin. A smile comes to his face.

Sirius' hands lift to Remus chest and placed them, both of them, over Remus' pecks. He cupped them, arching his fingers, and stared for a moment. "Breasts."

Remus looked from Sirius hands to his lovers face. "Breasts?"

"Yours." Sirius explained. Remus' brown wrinkled, a smile wrinkling at the scar.



Remus reached up to take Sirius hands off his chest. "Why?"

"I think," Sirius started, setting his head against Remus' chest to listen to his heart, "that I would love you."


"I think," Sirius let his eyes drift closed. Fingers crawled into his hair. " that I would love you the same. I think you would be as simple as you are now, plane on the outside and scared and such, but I think that the warmth you have would be the same."

Sirius felt Remus' breathing hitch. He lifted his shaggy head and Sirius' lips were captivated. Remus tasted like honey - like love and warmth.

"That has to be," Remus murmured against Sirius breath, "the greatest complement you have ever given me."

Sirius laughed, light, and wrapped his arms around his Remus' chest - snuggled his nose into his neck and kissed his throat. Real Mooney tasted like him - saliva and heat, passion and love - like warmth and home. Yes, he wouldlove them the same.

Sirius would always love him.